Disappears.

The consciousness cannot invent anything new. Like a lens captures the light coming from somewhere far away it picks up fragments of impressions, smells, sounds and thoughts - everything already existing. Everything builds on something old. Everything is based on something done before, thought before. The pattern and way of thinking is based on a slightly different, older pattern. Therefore you don't know how to react when you enter a situation where there are no basic patterns. Yet you meet the everyday and everything that's new all the time. You handle it without fully knowing how to. It's not shown though, because everyone knows you can handle everything coming in your way. You shrug your shoulders every time you are asked about it.
"Guess you've just got to do the best you can," you say. You're looking down at the ground and you do a little kick with the thin worn shoes you've used one season too long, I remember you used them last year as well. Right now it doesn't seem like much has changed. But it has. It's just below the surface. I see it in you. You look up with a wry smile and shrug your shoulders again. "Can't do much more than that, really."

For suddenly it's November again and suddenly it's not too long until everyone are gone with the winds.

Sensible.

// somewhere found in the great cosmos of the Internet.

Secret # 103.

Paramore - Misguided Ghosts

"Sometimes I fear the future. More and more often nowadays. What do I have left when even my closest critize my greatest strenghts and turn them into weaknesses? What am I supposed to do when what has always guided the way fails, when I no longer know where I stand? What do I do when I'm doubting whether or not I've got what it takes? What do I have when the doubt I feel inside is confirmed by people on the outside? Then I've got nothing. "

An other day.

".. That's why I don't like planning tomorrow. 'Cause tomorrow is.. Tomorrow. There's so much to do, there's always something coming up, something new and amazing and incredible. People think I'm nuts, but this is paradise.

It's always good to get going, to move on, but this has truly been a great adventure. Then we're back on track again. Going nuts."

Ridiculous.

From the beginning of fallbreak, from the moment I wake up until I go to bed, and still counting.

Nightdriving.

The darkness isn't darkness - it's blackness by its definition. Complete. Surrounding. A meeting car disappears in the distance, engulfed by the total dark. The silence is in the air, just as full and rich as the blackness. And the fog. Pressuring. It's everywhere around him. Making the road invisible. Only the lights lead the way, yet everything is unclear, faded by the thick wall consisting of blackness and fog. The lights of a house vanish behind him, for a moment he's blinded by the lights of a second meeting car. Then once again silence, darkness. He can't decide whether or not he's enjoying this. The loneliness. But as a matter of fact, he doesn't mind. The quietness is calming. Soothing. He's alone, no matter how you look at it. Yes, there's him and the car, the other cars and the houses. And the animals hiding in between the trees, masters of invisibility during nighttime. But right here, there's only him surrounded by the black fog and silence.

I met a car who kept a slow pace. Probably because of the bad view. Maybe the driver was afraid. Afraid of driving off the road or getting hit by someone. Maybe he or she was afraid of the dark. Or maybe just afraid of the animals lurking around. After staying in front of me for several minutes, it let me pass by.

He realized that he was alone without being alone as he watched the car's lights disappear in front of him in the distance, before he once again was driving into the darkness. And to him, it was all good.

Secret # 102.

"I'm not quite sure what I'm supposed to do when the day you're gone comes. When you won't be around all the time, won't be waking me up in the mornings with your barking, won't be here to play, won't go hunting in the fall, won't be sitting next to me when I feel lonely, won't be sleeping in my room in the dark hours of the night. Knowing that one day when I leave for school, you won't be there looking sadly at me and you won't be there jumping and barking happily as a greeting when I get home again, is kind of heartbreaking. "