Nerves.

I hate my competition nerves. I hate my expectations. I hate that I know I could have made it, if it hadn't been for the nerves. I hate that I had a good feeling before I entered the cage. I hate that I've done well on every single practice lately. I hate the disappointment on the edge of the ridiculous. I hate that I'm the good number two. I don't know what I'm going to do anymore, considering season's over and I'm not on the team anymore. The season hasn't been as good as I wanted it to be, considering the huge improvement on practice and the horrible achievements in meets. But I've experienced so much more than just defeat and victory with this team. I've learned so much because of them. I'm going to miss them a lot. Really. There's an other team I'm going to practice with and compete for this summer. It's going to be good. Better than what this season has been. Have to get over those nerves. I hate that I didn't make it. I hate the fact that I deserved it. At least I got three awesome t-shirts.