Number 1, most gorgeous puppy ever met. Her name is Bella, the neighbors' pet. We looked after her one day. She doesn't like sitting still for pictures, but on the other hand, she's only about 9 weeks old or so, so she's forgiven. She likes attacking my sister's Uggs or whatever they're called, and my hair. But that's all fine, and I don't think I've felt more childish with a dog than what I did when we were running around like maniacs, entertaining the entire neighborhood. But you know, you only live once.
So unlikely illogical that there actually is a chance. So abnormally irrelevant that it actually makes sense.Well-known, but yet so unfamiliar. In one moment, a fatal crisis, in the other, to let go of all inhibitions and go with the flow, just to see what happens. From time to time I kind of love being a teenager, even though it means living on the other side of the world and make a complete fool of yourself.
Ok. I look at this English blog, and I go: "Oh, man. Talk about being active, and a such good blogger.." But then the good side of not updating properly, is that I've been a good girl, and almost studied for all my tests and quizzes or what so ever the teachers might be tempted to call it. The last two weeks have been quite stressful. Just in general stressful. I guess that's what you get if you over-think, over-analyze, and over-do everything. You know, same old story, and I'm kind of tired re-explaining it. Ohwell. Main point: I've had better things to do than updating two different blogs, to be honest. It takes quite a long time just to figure out what to write, and then actually writing it, and lately I've felt like time is the very least thing I have.
I can't believe it's Christmas-break in a couple of days. I still feel like it's in the middle of summer. It should have been 3 hours of sunlight every day, snowy and ridiculously cold. And I should have known it was going to continue the next 3 months, and be really depressed about having to walk to school every day. On the other hand, I should have gathered a bunch of friends, and I should have been outside almost every single day - me, my friends, and our snowboards, twintips or skis. Yes, we have a lot to catch up with next season, guys. But hey: I don't mind walking around in shorts all day and think it's extremely hot either.
"The week begins hard and difficult. A lot of things are going on. You're not quite sure how to handle things, and it confuses you. It's not until the end of the week you figure things out, with creative solutions. If you're looking for a flirt, you'll find it among friends."
30 Seconds To Mars - Kings And Queens.
It's Tuesday. I've got 4-5 tests the next couple of days as I study for all at once, and I fell asleep on two chairs while doing homework. Two chairs made of tree, actually. And it's only Tuesday. In a way, it kind of fails quite hard as well, but never say never when you have a soul of ice. 2 weeks to break. 2 weeks to break.
It's been a good day. At the moment I have an 89,4 in Geometry, meaning that I'm only 0.6 points away from straight As. My englishteacher has been sick the last two weeks, and we've had subs. Subs who's been giving us assignments we weren't supposed to get, and who's been making us read Greek mythology, as we weren't suppose to read. The class has been extraordinary noisy, we had break-downs of a certain degree, and I guess the subs did have a point when they claimed that the bigger half of the class acted like kids from kindergarten rather than high school. But to be completely honest: You get what you deserve. The teacher seemed to be happy with getting back to the class, he had ironic comments in every second sentence he spoke. Still, the very best comment of the day, that made the entire class crack up for at least ten minutes was: "I can't really accept that you guys harassed the sub, but whatever you did... Good job." I believe that even though he claims that we're somewhat close to the biggest bunch of childish brats he has ever seen, he really don't mind us at all.
I think I think it's kind of sad, since I really had a small hope. Unfortunately, many people know the feeling of slowly rejection. I gave it up, trying to understand small hints that might not even be hints, maybe I'm just twisting reality to my advance after all? The thought of life just being a love-comedy with touches of drama, thriller and horror as well, seems to touch my mind quite often lately. I mean, the filmmakers need to find their inspiration somewhere. But I don't like this feeling. This feeling of never being good enough, the feeling of being so close, but yet so far away. The feeling of failure. But the worst is the feeling of being taken for granted. So I keep asking myself: Is it really that strange that I put up walls around me every time someone even consider trying to make it to the second step? Is it really that weird that I back off every time, and starts to over-think everything? I laugh at my self right now, I don't think it's trouble worth to show the world that even I am nothing but a simple teenager. But if I really gave you up or not, I still want you to know. Know that I have no idea, and I'm closer to more confused than ever, and I cared and still care a whole lot more than I actually express. You know, these walls have a bigger part in this act than it looks like.
It's not always easy to be a teenage girl. I have the best friends I could ever imagine, and I wouldn't change them for everything in the world. I guess I'm more afraid of hurting others than being hurt myself, but both are relative factors. Dammit, I'm a lost cause, a previous friend of myself and the world, and now I'm standing on the other side of the line that divide us. My mood is great today, by the way. I was late to school (wasn't even my fault), causing me to get a tardy, and I had annoying subs that screwed up my day more than necessary. Tomorrow I have a Biology-test, and at the moment I have no idea how H+ ions are related to the photosynthesis. Just great.
The words won't flow as easily as usual, can't find words for things. It's December. It's raining so much that if I open the door, the water will flow in (literally), and I really want peppermint mocha from Starbucks, even though I know that it's not a good idea to get addicted. Now it strikes me: So extremely random I am right now.
As said, it's December. I've lived here half of the planned time soon. In not even a month, 2009 comes to an end. And what have I really been doing? I've done so much that everything is a mess not following the chronological order. Time has passed way too quickly, at least to me. Since the beginning of Junior High it has passed quickly. I still remember first day of Junior High, that little shudder of nervousness I completely ignored, because at least one of the five girls walking together had to stay calm and not freak out. I remember the last day of middle school, and the feeling of both melancholy and happiness when I stood at the top of the really steep hill that was impossible to walk up when the winter and ice came each year. For some reason I still remember our favorite sub and how I threw the most perfect tennisball-throw in the history, hitting him in the back of his head, and all he did was turning around saying: "Nice throw!" while rubbing the back of his head, laughing. It strikes me that now, two years later, I'm just four years younger than he was. In two months I'm turning fifteen, next year is my senior year in junior high, and I need good grades to move further on to higher education. All of a sudden everything is so serious, everything matters. I think it's time to stand on my own two feet, make my own decisions, and to be independent. Since - one way or the other - you're alone in the world. Neither your family, friends, your girlfriend/boyfriend nor your enemies can back you up hundred percent. But I really don't mind, I like to believe that I actually can take care of myself, that I can make my own decisions, and that I actually am independent. Yes, I'm still naive enough to believe it, but I don't mind that either.
I think I'm about to grow up. And to be 99% honest, there's mixed feelings about it.
At least that's what they say. Even though this isn't really "home", I really didn't mind throwing away all the heavy luggage and see my bed again. Not only did my younger sister hit and kick me the entire night, she also stole my quilt and space. Someone spoke nonsense during the entire night too, quite entertaining yes, but not when you're trying to sleep yourself. When my younger sister finally found it trouble worth to get up, she accused me for doing all this to her. I love her though, and honestly, this vacation is on top 5 ever. Now I have to learn the rules for interior angles of any polygon and the rules for baseangles and parallel lines in a rhombus. You know, good girl.
Dogs, cats, butterflies, eels, sharks, birds, fish, hens, roosters, chickens, even snakes. No complaints on the wildlife, that's for sure. My younger sister has opened for a discussion about another dog (you know, persuasion is in the family), and I've carried a huge python and been attacked by a loving, white parrot. When the family went out for dinner I found this cat to talk to, and that's all I'm saying, since I'm already marked as crazy saying this. Yes, high-leveled self-irony at the moment.
My photo-project is nearly finished, and I'm praying to whoever is out there that nothing is messed up. It would have been so typical if something went completely wrong, and if something has, then there's a big chance that I sit down and cry during 5th period on Monday. For real, pray for me, wish for me, hope for me, or whatever you usually do. It's only worth around 100 points, and it only counts a lot of my grade.. Do we feel the pressure? Indeed.
I'm going home Sunday, and I'm really looking forward to an eight hours drive. But before leaving we're doing snorkeling, bathing and probably eat some more. After all, I haven't gained anymore than four tons. Stay tuned, I'm being egocentric, and I'm showing off pictures from the random "photoshoot" we had. Are we talking America's Next Top Model? No way.
An unknown number of miles, songs and never-ending, straight roads later, have I finally reached the final destination - Key West. For this adventure I've decided to split it up sort of, since we're talking about a bit too many pictures and too many words for one post.
So let's begin with the journey's beginning and obviously enough - the everlasting hours of driving.
A thing about American movies that has always fascinated me is the huge roads. 4 lanes in both directions are standards in every movie, and in the city there's complicated systems. In the middle of nowhere there are straightforward roads that seems to go on forever, where there's a huge chance of running out of gas and being stuck in the middle of nowhere, among cacti or alligators, depending on your location. And it's not just in the movies:It is really just one gas-station out there.
On a drive you know will take several hours you pretty much do nothing, you try to ignore that little voice in the back of your head that keep asking all the questions you used to ask out loud as a kid: "Where are we? Is it far? How long is it left? Are we soon there?" But doing nothing can be so much more than just pissing the others in the car off - it can be writing, drawing, talking, and it can be to listen to music, and of course sleeping and taking pictures.
In this case doing nothing involved all this, and the view was continuously swamps. Swamps, trees, grass and gators. A lot of gators. I counted 40 in 5 minutes, no kidding. It was sick to see them so close-up, and even sicker to see workers treating them like as they were kittens. I know I wouldn't dare going out there in slippers and shorts, not even if I got a huge amount of money.
On roadtrips like these you notice the silence. No cars around, except the one you're in, hardly ever buildings, and definitely no people. And then, when you come to a city, you notice how noisy a city really is. You'll also experience how happy you are when you spot a Starbucks in the distance, because that means refill of sugar to both blood sugar and your mood - and it also means a toilet where you can see how bad you really look like after 8 hours in that freaking car.
I know I'm not so keen on diving into a random lake anymore.
I just have to find the charger to the iPod and recharge it, and then I'll hopefully be good to go. If the pictures don't lie, then I don't have much to complain about, really. This is going to be great. For real. And the pictures from my new oldfashioned camera I have to use in photography turned out pretty good, so now there's only thirty-something pictures left, and then my project is officially finished. Yay! Now, you guys enjoy your Thanksgiving, I know I will.
Limp Bizkit - Behind Blue Eyes. (I have honestly no idea how many years I've been searching for that song.)
Some people asked me what kind of music I like - and here's some of it. Now, I know very well that people are different, and so are their taste in music, but it would have been cool if you recognized something, or if you found something new you like?
"So after this, if you guys meet in the hallways, will you be the first one to look away, or will you be the first one to say hi?"
Today I learned that even though the football-players appear to stick to their own clique and appear to be lost in their own world full of testosterone and let no one enter it, some of them are close to the exact opposite. Some of them actually are really open to new people, and don't mind listening to a 20 minutes swedish-norwegian conversation while trying to laugh at the right places. Today I also learned that it's possible to feel like you've known people for 2 years, even though you just met them not even 2 hours ago. I learned that with a bunch of a little crazy teenagers and a little crazy leaders, and a drum, a lot can be accomplished in 8 hours.
Unity Day as I experienced it was far over my expectations. In the morning was around 70 students from everywhere between freshman- to senior-year gathered. Most people didn't know that many of the people present, and you pretty much felt like a complete idiot, sitting on you chair and having nothing to say. But when the bell rang for the last time today most people had spoken to everyone else, and no one felt like idiots anymore. The day was spent in funny activities, chatting, laughing, getting-to-know'ing and having a lot of fun, but also discussing important topics important to most teenagers. From beginning really awkward and tense, the day developed to me talking about everything with people I never would have talked to in general. I learned a lot of new stuff about people I would never consider about them. And this is the point of Unity Day - to break down barriers and stereotypes, and being able to see the single individual and not entire groups of people. The point is to create a group out of strangers and very different types of personalities, where everyone is accepted, and there's no reason for bullying or making fun of others to make yourself feel better. The point is that what we talked about, what we did, and all these new thoughts we got will be passed on to the rest of the school and continue with us through life.
I will definitely not forget this day, and all the good arguments and points of view I heard from all these people, and I will say hi to them if I ever meet them in the hallways or what so ever - because that's all that's required to create a new bond to a new person.
Today I was proved that there's more about people than just their facade, and that footballplayer who appears to live the perfect life might struggle with the exact same problems as the outsider sitting in a corner on a chair. And that's all OK, since we're nothing more than humans, and once in a while all we need is a hug from someone who just this morning was a stranger.
Now I've been sitting here for so long, looking for that tiny place in the HTML-code of my blog where the one special color-command-thing is. I think I've analyzed the entire thing 3 or 4 times, because I could not find it, even though I used to know exactly where it was. Well, it turned out that I actually knew exactly where it was, I just needed to add tree, THREE, freaking letters to make it work properly. Yes, I feel like I'm living up to the reputation of my hair color today. Anyways, whatchathink?
Other than that, it was a kind of funny emergency at school today, and the strict rules at school still surprises me. I see people get detention for things the teacher wouldn't pay attention to for a second back home, and I think it's hilarious. But hey, it's a different system. I also got my report card today, and I guess I'm happy with it. I got all As and one B, which I think is satisfying enough - it's not perfect straight As, but come on - I tend to forget I'm a foreign student. And now I have something to work with for my next report card, so I'm pleased. :)
One day to holiday, and I'm looking forward to it as if I were a little child (which I still am, but what the heck). I got this massive assignment in photography, but I think it's going to be fun, as soon as I get all the required equipment. Tomorrow is Unity Day, so no normal school. Practically spoken, this means that I'm already in vacation-and-chilling-mood.
In this case, I'm not so sure whether it's a positive thing or not, but since it came from a friend, I hope it's positive.
But I actually have done a lot of things today. I've done some workout, nearly cried because of my terrible shape at the moment, been sleeping in the sun, laughed at my good friend Eirik, who also is the owner of the quote for this post's headline (I believe he laughed at me too, so we're even, I guess.). I cleaned my room, and now you can actually imagine a drawer beneath all the fabrics and colors. I've also been to a festival with my family and two friends of the family. It started really bad, with complaining on IM, and ended really good with 100 year old music I've never heard before. But that's OK, since it was OK music, funny to dance to. I forgot my camera (of course), but the lifesaver of the night promised to send me the pictures, if I, without a word, serve my dad and his guest ice-cold beer when it's time for another reunion. Oh well, is there something I don't do for my readers?
Yesterday, I went to the footballgame. I believe Plant had the lead after first round, which was as long as I bothered to watch. It was Biggest Rival 1 vs. Biggest Rival 2, so the crowd was pretty... crowded. I also got this totally awesome t-shirt in something like the size XXXlarge, so it looks like a dress. Wow, what a dry humor today. Thursday was hockey-day, so cool. I think I understand more of hockey than what I do of football.. Wow, what a really dry humor today!
The Follow Through - "So High"
This is another weird song I like. Randomly found on Youtube. Me ♥.
Long time, no see, ego-pictures! This is really close-up though, and it looks a bit weird, hehe.
By the way: I survived Friday 13th without further damage. The only thing was that I - messhead deluxe - forgot everything I was suppose to remember that day. Books, appointments, deals, tests, quizzes, you name it. But hey, if that was it, then it's kind of okay. What about you?
Heyheyhey, live from the dentist. Luckily, I'm not the lucky one who has to sit in that white chair in that white, plain room, I'm stuck outside. Kids' eyes are glued to the TV and Hannah Montana, parents are lost in random newspapers, and I'm doing nothing. I'm so happy I'm not afraid of dentists or hospital-related stuffs in general. It must suck pretty hard. But now they're FINALLY finished, and it's dinnertime. Man, I'm starving!
For some reason I'm so calm today. I think I've met a conclusion I still don't know what is. But even though it's unknown, is it kind of worth a smile, a shrug and an "okay". But why I have this feeling, I cannot answer. I feel like it's summer, even though it's not even halfway through November. I have this feeling you get the last three days before the bell ring the final time and summer is officially here. You know, that waiting feeling - to wait for something to happen. That feeling you get when you know something is close to an end, but when you also know that something is about to begin. It's like a mix of melancholy and enthusiasm, because it's two opposite sides of the exact same thing. I believe it's called changes.
Inside I have this lazy silence, making me believe that nothing really matters. I wouldn't need much more than a three to lay in the shade of, and you being nearby, without much talking. It's a nice thought to get lost in. But it has to wait, after all, it's nothing more than half of the Earth and a country dividing us. But Mr. Wonderboy, I have to admit that it's kind of OK that you're not around too. I still don't know what that conclusion is all about. I don't think I'll bother figuring it out either. I'm a dreamer, but that's OK when you feel like this - like summer is coming, even though it isn't.
Or I look at thing in every color. I like that thought. I don't know what's the best though, but I believe it must be something in the middle. And you?
Other than that, I have not much to say, honestly. The words won't flow as easily as usual today. Like they're stuck somewhere, like, lost. Anyway, I'm just about to start doing homework, and yes I love geometry, biology and french so much at the moment. I'm really looking forward to having the day off tomorrow. I mean, nothing is better than being able to actually sleep. Pictures coming up, since I'm awesome. Lolkaythnxbye.
The problem is that you don't really mean it. It's an annoying gift we have, we humans, we keep blaming others for our mistakes. "I didn't really do anything, you're ALWAYS the one doing it! You're so freaking stupid, go away and stay there, " I keep feeling like I've heard that phrase one too many times. In the movies, in real life. What happened to doing the right or wrong? It's replaced. It's no longer about doing the right or doing the wrong, but about doing what's smart or what's stupid. Well, nice to know, so people won't let you down. I don't see the point of trying to make the very worst out of a situation when it could have been worked out so differently if people would shut up for once and talk to each other like civilized people.
I don't really think it's done on purpose, it just kind of happens. We're just used to screaming at each other, adding an insult in every sentence we say. Just testing the lines, see how far you can go before something explode. And of course it hits, it hits quite badly too. But every time it hits a little less, and eventually no one will care. Even though it's relative to the subject, everything will be meaningless babble. But for right now, it does matter, and maybe all that's said is really true. Maybe I really should turn your words into my actions.
I really enjoy it. That feeling of "Oh my God, I'm so freaking going to die." Moments of total panic, filled with fear and some regret, when you wonder what the heck made you do this. I enjoy that feeling, of being alive. I feel like a kid on Christmas Eve, birthday, New Years Eve and what so ever. I run around like a maniac, but that's OK, since it's not every day you get the chance to scream like an idiot while scaring yourself and the ones around you to death.
Oh well, we'll see how this goes.. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we're talking an English blog! I've been thinking about starting a blog in English for a long time, since you know, challenges tends to be tempting. Anyways, I'm not sure how this project will work out, but I wasn't sure about my norwegian blog either, and that turned out pretty well. I guess we'll figure it out somehow. The background for starting this blog is that I now live in the US for a year, and I've met a lot of people who wonders what the heck I'm writing, since they don't understand norwegian (huge shock, duuh..). As said before, I've thought about getting a blog in English earlier, because the entire world understand English, and how many understands norwegian? Do the math yourself. I appreciate not being killed for grammar-mistakes and awesome word-choices, I'm still young and learning, you know. I personally think that blogging is a great way to learn how to write well in general, and definitely how to write English. I'm not yet sure what this is going to be, whether I'm writing one post for my norwegian blog and another post for this blog, or if I'm just translating and summarizing from the norwegian blog. I think I'm going to end up with the last mentioned, since I'm lazy.
Short about me: My name is Kaisa, I'm that lost alien from the other side of Earth invading the US, but I'm a nice person.
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